I love parenting.
In my humble (but accurate) opinion:
Much of what goes into parenting little children is applicable to selling your stuff.
Which is why I love it.
Seriously- you can learn a LOT about getting people to buy what you have for sale by parenting your own children.
For one, it is something you can use to practice how to get along with others. How to deal with people and understand them; how to relate to people and make them like you.
And from a selling perspective, it is actually a very cool way you can learn to use effective devices to win others to your way of thinking, get them to follow your lead and do what you want.
So what it really comes down to is persuasion and being persuasive.
Now not everything is about selling – I get it.
But we are all salesmen, in a way.
In most of our exchanges with people we are always trying to convince others to do something for us, to accept our requests, our position or ideas.
Let me show you what I mean.
As a baby, when you were wet, you sometimes had to convince your mother that you needed to be changed. When you were a child, you knew how to get your parents to give you the treats or toys you wanted. As a grown-up, you had to “sell” yourself to your friends, teachers, employer and spouse. And now as a doting parent (or grandparent), you have to use sales techniques on your children to get them to obey you. You have to show them that you have something they want … no matter how trivial it may be … and that they can get it only by doing the things you want them to do.
I’m telling you, parenting is the playing field of persuasion.
But how do you specifically persuade your children to do the things you want them to do?
When I was preparing my youngest for daycare the other day, it was raining outside and she declared, “I don’t like this rainsuit, I don’t want to wear it.”
And she refused to let me come near to talk to her about it.
Perhaps she thought I would do the natural thing – and blame her for her reaction. She thought I would tell her she did not have a choice. She had to put on her rainwear.
She clearly was ready to put up a fight.
Clearly she expected me to get nervous about the time and try to make her do the thing I wanted her to do.
Now, if I am being honest this would have been my normal reaction had I not taken the time to think about my past failures with her and remember this sage advice from an old master persuader:
There is only one way to get anybody to do anything. And that is by making the other person want to do it. – Dale Carnegie
But how is it that you actually make your children want to do the things you want them to do?
You acknowledge them.
You talk about what they want rather than what you want.
Being human, children simply want to be acknowledged.
In other words, they do not want you to “ignore” them by focusing on your desired outcome. They want you to put their wants ahead of your own (without forgetting your own intentions).
Knowing that, I went on to acknowledge my daughter’s wants and desires.
I got her to talk through her feelings and emotions.
I listened and I empathized to show her that I cared.
Then I went on to show her how to get what she really wanted.
In short, I recognized my request wasn’t what she wanted.
And I came up with a solution to satisfy her heart’s desire.
So what I did is, I showed her how to use my request to get the things she really wanted.
I simply demonstrated how doing the thing I wanted her to do was first and foremost in her own self-interest.
I explained that wearing her rainsuit would turn her into a big girl (one who’s able to respect her parents’ will), keep her healthy, playing and being a part of the family’s fun activities.
In doing this, I showed her I was on her side.
I helped her see I had her best interest at heart.
And she realized she had no reason whatsoever to fight me on this.
As an added benefit, I was able to help her make the idea her own.
And here is the thing almost no one seems to get about convincing others to accept your ideas.
To influence someone else in a positive way, and create lasting change, you need to make them willing (even eager) to do the things you want them to do.
You do that by finding out what is deeply important to them.
Then you demonstrate how the things you want them to do for you will help them get (or get nearer) the things they are interested in.
So, part of the trick here is to tie up what you want to what the other person wants in such a way that they cannot resist making your idea their own.
And that is also the simple secret behind persuading prospects to buy your stuff.
The simple way to get almost anyone to “buy” your idea, try it for themselves and (if it works) use it at will is to put their self-interest before your own.
And not doing this might very well be the reason why you couldn’t get the successful results — or make the rewarding sales — you wanted so much.
How info marketers can get more of the sales they want so much
For example, I was working a few weeks ago and I received a call from an information marketer who wanted to sell me some coaching material.
I tried to be a good prospect and I listened to their sales pitch.
But then I was repelled by how much they dwelt on their own experience, expertise and knowledge.
They shared a lot of details about their all-powerful science, their great organization, their talented associates.
And they told me all about their other prospects and their clients’ amazing results.
In other words, they focused on introducing their information and getting the sale they wanted; but they ignored you have to acknowledge your prospect, find out about their desires and show them how you can help them get closer to their own wants in order to make them care about you, your information, your business, your offer.
Consider this and remember it:
All you need to do to persuade others in business or in life is to understand people, try to figure out why they do what they do and offer them a better way to get the results they want.
So again, persuading your children is the exact same thing as persuading your prospects and clients.
Although I feel strongly about this, the idea is not mine.
And I am not going to take any credit for it.
Great writers like Dale Carnegie have talked about using persuasion devices to get your children or business contacts to do what you want.
In fact, the first time I read about this concept was in his legendary book.
How to win friends and influence people
You have surely heard about it but have you actually read it?
This book is a must-read for anyone who aspires to become a master persuader.
This book changed my mind about how to persuade others and influence them to accept your ideas.
It will do the same for you – I guarantee it.
And putting its principles into practice will turn you into a big success in business and in life.
Here is why:
The book begins with a little mindset shift.
You begin by understanding how to lead a more successful life.
I call it little because it is subtle, but it is so important.
It is the truth about getting the successful results you want in your business and life
Here it is: Your success in business and life depends almost entirely on how you relate to people.
The book explains that the measure of your personal and financial success is in direct proportion to your ability to make people like you and lead them to do the things you want them to do.
It’s a good eye-opener that you can have better results by developing skills in human relationships – and greater success as a parent, a spouse, a business owner, and more.
So, rather than resulting from the level of expertise you have achieved, the degree of knowledge you possess or the number of books you have read, most of your success depends on your ability to be persuasive, to win people to your way of thinking, and to “sell” yourself and your ideas effectively.
It makes perfect sense.
And Dale Carnegie explained it beautifully.
Carnegie said, “Dealing with people is probably the biggest problem you face, especially if you are in business.”
He also said how, “… about 15 percent of one’s financial success is due to one’s technical knowledge and about 85 percent is due to skill in human engineering-to personality and the ability to lead people.”
If this is true in such technical lines as engineering as Carnegie describes above, I would bet it it is true in a lot of other lines of work too, from retailers to service providers to coaches to content creators to info marketers and more.
And considering that Carnegie read over one hundred biographies of the greatest leaders who ever lived, and interviewed some of the most successful people of his time, (Edison, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Owen D. Young and Clark Gable), he certainly knew what to do to gain more respect, recognition, distinction and a (much) higher income.
Maybe this is why he suggests we apply these concepts at every opportunity.
I too believe that the number one determination as to how successful you will be in all that you do is how you deal with the people around you.
When I meet someone, I try to establish a personal connection with them.
I try to listen to them, to encourage them, to help them find solutions to their problems, and I genuinely try to help them achieve the better results they want in their lives every chance I get.
And I suggest you do the same too.
Because putting service over selling is the most powerful yet simple way to persuade prospects to buy your stuff.
Listen, persuading someone to buy your stuff is about helping them get what they want so they can give you what you want in return. It starts with the other person, it puts your prospects first. It is, in my opinion, the most honest, honorable and unselfish way to get what you really want in life.
It is based on a fundamental understanding of human nature.
You have to see things from the other person’s perspective.
All you have to do is to try to help your prospects until the natural result is for them to raise their hands, and ask for a little more of your help.
And now you know how to become a master at persuading people – and lead a richer, fuller, happier and more fulfilling life.
Want to achieve those results?
To do that, simply get started persuading your prospects today right now.
But what if you don’t have a business – and what you do does not include prospects and selling?
Then your prospect might be your children and you need to sell them on obeying you or giving you their best focus and undivided attention when all they want to do is to make a fuss or play.
So why not start influencing your children today.
Put yourself in their place.
Find out what interests them.
Connect their concerns with your idea.
This simple shift of perspective will help you reach your persuasion or selling goals.
Again, it is all about how you change your primary focus from you to the person you want to influence.
And then, constantly try to practice the fine art of persuasion in order to continuously get the better results you want in your business and life.