You’ve heard the saying, “Feeling like a failure?” Well. Today I am going to share my thoughts about it and you can see if they match yours.
Plus, I will talk about an amazingly simple way you can use to overcome it in a heartbeat.
But first, let me give you the background.
For the past fifteen or sixteen years, life has been pretty challenging.
I’ve been fully engaged in the competitive race for achievement and self-respect, while I also had to relocate and start a family in a different country (and continent).
Therefore, as far as results are concerned, I have achieved lots less successes than I expected.
What I mean is that, for over 10 years, I experienced failure after failure in business and life.
And sometimes I failed so hard, even I began to think I was a failure.
Needless to say, I still wrestle with feelings of failure.
Take parenting for instance.
In spite of the hundreds of hours I have invested in trying to be a better mom, I experience setbacks consistently.
Of course, I’m still committed to becoming a successful parent.
While this means I’m willing to do anything to become great at parenting, I’ve also learned it means I must be willing to make mistakes—and fail.
And boy, do I fail.
On a daily basis.
For example, I had yet another setback with my kids the other day.
So I was “a little” discouraged.
However instead of feeling like a failure, I stopped this joy reaper cold in its track with a little help from the tips I share in this story.
They can do the same for you too.
You may not be a parent but if you’ve ever tried to improve any aspect of your personality or life—and failed before—maybe you can relate.
Any man or woman who fully operates will judge themselves negatively once in a while.
But how many times are you beating yourself up for every little mistake?
If you’re like me in that your answer is often, then take a minute to look over my thought-provoking question and two hard-learned lessons about failure, plus a few inspirational quotes listed below.
With them you will learn how to take control of your thoughts and have a success mindset so you can turn heart-breaking setbacks into amazing achievements.
And now about that little story …
One morning couple weeks ago it was rush hour in our home.
I was preparing the kids for school. I always start with my oldest because she is usually the easiest to handle.
But that morning, she just wouldn’t cooperate.
Instead of getting ready, she kept singing and dancing in front of the mirror.
And after many failed attempts to kindly nudge her in the right direction, I became impatient and I reprimanded her.
She sadly obeyed and then she left.
I kicked myself in the butt for not staying calm.
But it didn’t stop there. My downward spiral continued with my youngest -the strong minded and independent one- who had decided she wanted to play with her stickers rather than doing boring stuff like getting dressed.
So when I started to explain her request was highly unlikely, she thought my not giving in meant I should forget about taking her to the daycare that morning.
I (really) tried to handle this calmly so we could avoid the time-wasting pit of tantrumdom. But gently trying to persuade her to obey didn’t work.
The clock was ticking, and still, she refused to let me approach her.
And guess what?
I did it anyway. I grabbed my daughter and I got her ready for the daycare.
Now she was REALLY upset. Her clothes flew in the air and I had to dodge over and around her little kicks, fists and more that are still proven to hurt.
To cut a long story short, when I left my kids that morning they still thought I was the most wonderful woman in the world. But after I had run back and forth around the house, gotten them all packed and ready to go, dropped everyone at school and made sure we were forgiving one another and “leaving the past behind”, then I took a minute to reflect on what happened.
So I turned to these 3 effective ways to get rid of the feeling of failure in the blink of an eye.
And even though I knew I had done the best I could (with the time and skills I had) as I travelled back home, and listened to the chatter in my head, I couldn’t help but feel upset at myself because I had failed my kids.
Often when the above scenario happens, I’m quick to judge myself negatively and think I failed as a mom.
I can’t stop beating myself up for failing to stay calm and to keep the communication channels open with my kids.
And so on until I challenge myself and my feelings of failure like this:
I ask myself, did failing my kids make me a failed mom?
And just like that, this simple question (plus two other simple reminders I’ll share with you in a minute) puts an end to this little tragedy that has been repeated for years in the theater of my mind!
Where does this come from?
Confucius. You know him. He said, “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
He also said, “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.”
And all this is so inspiring that I know I can’t just stop and get discouraged by a failure. I know I have to try again.
It reminds me of a lesson I learned through painful years of self-improvement.
Applied to parenting, it goes something like this … all it takes to consider myself a “successful” mom is to keep trying, no matter how long it may be.
Where did I learn this?
There’s an amazing statement by Winston Churchill which I turn to whenever I really struggle to stay motivated.
Every time I feel like giving up, I hear his voice in my mind saying “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”
Suddenly, a second wind fills my sails.
Now I’m ready to get up and try again.
The point is, it’s not the failures you face that determine your level of joy, happiness and success in life, but how you respond to them.
In other words, you can’t always control the results you get from your efforts.
But you can always control how you respond to unsuccessful results and give it your best to turn heart-breaking setbacks into amazing achievements.
What I’m really saying is that success is a process, not a result.
That’s why you should never stop chasing your goal.
It’s the true definition of success.
Earl Nightingale said,
Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.
So, keep chasing your goal no matter what results you now get.
Keep chasing your goal even if you currently fail so hard, you feel like a failure.
After all, doesn’t it come down to this—you want certain things that mean a great deal to you, and the whole purpose of life is to find ways and means of getting them?
Keep chasing your goal, you will soon find ways and means to get it.
And to learn how to raise yourself from failure to success in business and in life, just go to https://corinneessono.com/newsletter/. You’ll be glad you did!